Tuesday, November 28, 2006

retail therapy

But I only shopped for things that would improve my mental health exponentially, so that makes it ok, right? Heh.

What was first on my list? BOOKS, of course. I made a stop at my favorite local cheap used book store, and found good things. Funny, really, I actually found myself looking at the self help section for the first time ever. No worries though, it all seemed sad and silly and strange, even now, with all I have on my mind. 100 steps to win him back from the other woman while doing an inner tango and other silly titles look just as cheesy and wrong now as they did before I'd been through all this (THANK YOU LORD!). Maybe I'm just cynical, but I had a good laugh anyway. I did find these and am excited about reading each of them:

Next on my list.... New sheets. Soft luxurious new high thread count sheets in that pretty shade of green he would never allow. To go on my bed the day he leaves. It may be hard to lay there alone at night, but at least I'll have soft new sheets. I can't wipe his memory completely from this house, because I treasure his memory and I will always savor my reminiscence of our times together, and because his beautiful children will fill every day of my life, but aside from them I intend fully to put everything that reminds me of him away for a while. Gone will be his scent, his touch, and his face. New pillows are soon to follow. It seems silly to me even now, but I get some comfort regardless from the idea of wrapping myself in a cocoon of newness. It is a little thing, I know, but it symbolizes something far bigger in my heart.


glo-girl said...

oh the luxury of high count sheets.

i knew nothing about buying sheets until i was 24 or 25...

can you imagine?!

i am so glad i have discovered this little indulgence!!

Jenny said...

Same for me. I bought my first set of really good sheets just a couple years ago. I actually stayed home from work the next day laying in bed and reading because I loved those sheets so much. What an awakening!!! Yes, I know, I'm a dork. :)

liz said...

my mom did the same thing- good plan. she eventually had a whole new style in her home that was a lot more warm and fun once he left. It was a slow process, but I think helped her with the letting go of her hurt (maybe?).