But I only shopped for things that would improve my mental health exponentially, so that makes it ok, right? Heh.
What was first on my list? BOOKS, of course. I made a stop at my favorite local cheap used book store, and found good things. Funny, really, I actually found myself looking at the self help section for the first time ever. No worries though, it all seemed sad and silly and strange, even now, with all I have on my mind. 100 steps to win him back from the other woman while doing an inner tango and other silly titles look just as cheesy and wrong now as they did before I'd been through all this (THANK YOU LORD!). Maybe I'm just cynical, but I had a good laugh anyway. I did find these and am excited about reading each of them:
Next on my list.... New sheets. Soft luxurious new high thread count sheets in that pretty shade of green he would never allow. To go on my bed the day he leaves. It may be hard to lay there alone at night, but at least I'll have soft new sheets. I can't wipe his memory completely from this house, because I treasure his memory and I will always savor my reminiscence of our times together, and because his beautiful children will fill every day of my life, but aside from them I intend fully to put everything that reminds me of him away for a while. Gone will be his scent, his touch, and his face. New pillows are soon to follow. It seems silly to me even now, but I get some comfort regardless from the idea of wrapping myself in a cocoon of newness. It is a little thing, I know, but it symbolizes something far bigger in my heart.