Monday, October 19, 2009

My throat feels raw and tight

I miss you. Making a place for myself, making time for my thoughts, my heart. I have to find some direction before I'm lost forever. Even progress doesn't seem to make much sense anymore.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Another late night in a pitch black room

4 months in this new house and I still feel like I'm in some strange
foreign place lying in bed at night. When will this feel like my room,
my space? When will this feel like home? Will this ever feel like
home? This house, these people, this situation, this life? Its odd
working so hard for this only to feel like its not really mine anyway.

Laying here in the dark with my sprained ankle wrapped in an ace
bandage, some reprieve from the torture device of a splint the doctor
gave me. Not being able to walk is hell. Living in a trilevel house
with no bathroom on the main floor is hell. Bruised armpits from the
stupid crutches are hell. Back to work tomorrow. Hell.

Saturday, March 28, 2009


Straining my eyes to see through the pouring rain
In a metal box hurtling down the freeway at 75, but not 80
Crooked shirts and shoulders
Mix tapes in french
The warmth of his body next to mine
Sweet scissors stabbing at my sanity
That intoxicating scent spreads my heart so thin

I'm sailing away...

or at least I wish I were. Stupid song is stuck in my head. I'm so tired of holding up the facade of this strong woman who can handle anything while really on the inside I'm walking around on the verge of tears.