Monday, December 18, 2006

I'm sorry.

So I trashed my post below about childhood stereotypes. The explanation I gave of where they came from makes NO DIFFERENCE. The whole post offended me, and I wrote the damned thing. I am ashamed that it sat here on my blog for the time that it did, and it's not even honestly and truly how I feel. I've gotta be better than that about running my mouth. It's true that when I was younger, there was no way in hell I would date military personnell. Part of that was a certain "image" perpetuated in this town of the kind of girl who did date those guys, and part of that was the fact that my dad drilled in to my head as a child (damn he's tricky) that there was something shameful about it. As a child he teased me that I was going to grow up to flip burgers and marry a fat sailor. No, this wasn't cruelty on his part. He really wasn't trying to say anything mean, but rather trying to instill in my brain that I should do anything but that because that's what his own internal stereotypes led him to believe. We had many many conversations about his real dreams for me which included a lot of education, an amazing career, and a beautiful family, in that order. He grew up in this navy town too, and he wanted to protect his little girl. You know what though? When it comes down to it, those behaviors he tried so hard to scare me away from really aren't all that bad.

And you know what else? It just doesn't matter. Everyone has to find the path in life that is right for them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with flipping burgers if it gets you where you want to be in life. I've avoided fast food jobs like the plague my entire life, but I know people who work in fast food management that make some pretty decent money and have pretty awesome lives. I know others that worked in fast food to support their families while they paid their way through school to get to their dream jobs so that they could live happily ever after, and now they really are living happily ever after. You know how awesome that is? I also know young people that are barely getting by, just starting out, who's fast food jobs are the difference between making it and not. It's all about the journey. Above all I know people who work in fast food that have amazing hearts, and amazing personalities. I wish I were so lucky as to have their lives some days.

As for Navy guys, or really any military personnell, I just flat out need to apologize. I am sorry. I hope nobody read what I said, because I really didn't mean it in the way that it sounded, and I should be smacked for the way it sounded. I'm sorry Gloria. Please ignore me. I'm an idiot sometimes. I know you read it because you were still sweet enough to comment, even though the post was complete bile. :( Blech. My aim wasn't to say anything bad about folks in the military. My aim was to feel my way through my feelings about the life that has suddenly been thrust on me. I am suddenly a single adult, and that's not something I've ever been before. I've gotta figure out where my head is on that, where my heart is. That said, I have absolutely NOTHING BUT RESPECT for the people who give so much of their lives so that we can have the lives we do here in this country. I can only walk down the street because someone fought for my right to do so. I respect that. I can only drive my car because someone fought for my right to live in this society where things like cars come so easily. I respect that. I can only take my sweet children to school every day because someone fought to maintain the government that provides the funding for those schools, that recognizes the value of education for young people. I respect that. I can only run my stupid mouth in this blog because someone fought for the freedom I take for granted. I respect that. I don't know where my head was at the other night, but honestly, folks who go the military route are, to me, a cut above the rest. A BIG cut. If I implied anything to the contrary of that I apologize.

6 comments:

Sonia said...

I didn't get a chance to read the post you're talking about. Honestly, I've NEVER heard that stereotype about military that you were taught. NEVER. I was never given anything but support when I married my husband (army). The army was good to him. Gave him a great education, and he left the military with a career.

Jenny said...

Which is exactly my point. That rocks. Military folks do good things, and I've always believed that. My grandpa was a commander in the Navy. My Step-grandpa was a captain in the navy. Another of my grandparents was a pilot in the airforce during world war II. Some of my closest friends are military, married to military, or married to ex-military. My post was about my feeling some aversion to dating Navy guys because of a certain reputation in the town I grew up in and the attitudes there. My post was also about not liking stereotypes and not wanting to judge people, but still. It made me uncomfortable anyway, because I don't want to feel that way in any sense. Everyone has merits regardless of who they are or what they choose to do with their lives. Those who choose to spend their lives defending our country have MORE merit if anything, and that's my point. I don't want to put anything out there that might be conceived in any other way because that's not how I feel and because it wouldn't be right. I'm thankful for these people. Period. Thanks for stopping by Sonia. I hope that post didn't say anything bad to anyone other than me, but I'm glad you didn't read it anyway. :)

Aislinn said...

I read your blog from time to time and would never feel offended by what you write, thats your feelings and I know you love me!! The military has been good to me. I admit dating navy was hard but I had fun! I miss you and wish I was around for you right now!!

Jenny said...

Aislinn!! I DO love you!!! You are a sweetheart. I miss you so much. I wish you were here too. You are exactly the kind of friend I need right now - wild and crazy fun, never afraid to say what's on your mind, but totally down to earth, caring and sweet too. I could so use one of those nights right now - hanging out by the water at your parents house - just the girls, eating ice cream out of the containers and blabbling about everything under the sun. I love you!

glo-girl said...

;)

no need to apologize, sweetie- as no offence was taken!

((hugs))

Aislinn said...

Just read your comment back, took me back!! Iam coming back for the reunion and will be needing a place to stay since paying for a room is stupid, but am going to rent a car!! Pat will most like be staying here with the kids, just to expensive to fly everybody but we shall see!! We can have girls night then, I promise!!