Monday, March 19, 2007

I'm over it.

I don't know why I let myself get so caught up in emotion. It's silly really. I have all the time in the world to find the life I want to live. I get so caught up in the here and now, in making this moment count like it's the last, and in some ways that's good, but in other ways it's really bad. It doesn't matter if it happens today, or tomorrow, or in 5 years, as long as I am making a point to enjoy every day. I like M a lot, and if it works out, that is EXCELLENT, but if it doesn't, there are many many other fish in the sea. If it's meant to be then it will happen. If not, then I've met someone amazing, made a great friendship, and learned some things about patience and about myself as a person. Every day is an experiment in being "single," ya know? That's still something pretty new and weird to me, and I'm not so sure I know what I'm doing yet. Regardless, life is good.

I spent this last weekend in Cannon Beach all by my lonesome. I was worried that I would have a hard time being alone, but it was great fun. I hung out at the beach watching surfers for a good chunk of Saturday, went hiking saturday afternoon, stayed at the hikers camp on the trail that runs between Cannon Beach and Seaside saturday night, and hiked out Sunday morning. I had fish and chips at the seafood market in Cannon beach for lunch yesterday, wandered the outlet mall in Seaside in the afternoon, met Dan to pick up the girls, and made it home by 9 last night. I'm used to sore feet and legs after a hike, and sometimes even a sore back, but holy cow my butt hurts! It's kind of a funny feeling. :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I ran into your blog a couple of weeks ago. Thank you for putting it out there. I can't tell you how cathartic it has been for me. I haven't read everything, but it looks like your husband and mine were on a similar timeline. Mine came back--I don't know yet whether that is better or not. I think it is at least better for our child. I still feel the loss of his love--I think he forgot to bring that back with him...At any rate-I'm pulling for you. thanks. lk