Friday, March 02, 2007
Emotional turmoil of the weirdest kind..
I miss my blog! I haven't written here in so long. I think mostly I've just been trying to avoid my emotions. I am not interested in wallowing. My life is almost working out, and that's unsettling for some reason. I have a great job, my bills are paid, I am living comfortably, meeting interesting new people, and having fun. I'm learning new things and making goals for my future. My problem is that I don't have a single person that I can share it all with. I feel like I have to censor myself with every single person I talk to, because the whole picture of my life right now just isn't acceptable to any one person. There are just things I can't say, even here, and I don't like it. I need a confidante, damn it! There are so many amazing people in my life that I've been so close to, and I want to be able to share my life with all of them, but I am torn among them, and there's just no way to make everyone happy, myself included. It's a crappy situation. Sadly, I started this post feeling good about my life, feeling optimistic, and now I am ending it feeling like crap, wishing I could just go hide somewhere. I am so freakin lost.