I know it's become my favorite analogy, but I'm left again today feeling like I need to take a moment to step off of the roller coaster. I feel like I am reckless with my emotion, charging ahead without reason, and the only purpose that could possibly serve is to break my heart. I can't go through that again and again. After all that has happened my instinct clearly is to run wild, to let loose, to let the pieces fall, but I need to come back to myself. I need to find myself again. Cool, calm, collected, reasonable... yet serendipitous. I don't want to hurt. I don't want to dent the soul of another, and I certainly can't set myself up to be hurt again. The only path I can choose has to be the one that's thought out, that's sure, that chooses dignity, peace, passion, sensitivity...

My life is so incongruous.