Monday, April 09, 2007

I know it's become my favorite analogy, but I'm left again today feeling like I need to take a moment to step off of the roller coaster. I feel like I am reckless with my emotion, charging ahead without reason, and the only purpose that could possibly serve is to break my heart. I can't go through that again and again. After all that has happened my instinct clearly is to run wild, to let loose, to let the pieces fall, but I need to come back to myself. I need to find myself again. Cool, calm, collected, reasonable... yet serendipitous. I don't want to hurt. I don't want to dent the soul of another, and I certainly can't set myself up to be hurt again. The only path I can choose has to be the one that's thought out, that's sure, that chooses dignity, peace, passion, sensitivity...

My life is so incongruous.

1 comment:

john said...

Ahh dear Jenny, if nothing else, trust that you have all the time you want all the autonomy you want and then some. Reserve what you will, share what and when you want, you go tthis guy hooked and happy by just being you!