Thursday, July 27, 2006

odd timelines

20 years ago I....

1. was in 2nd grade - I had social issues as a second grader. And I picked my nose.

2. lived on a lake - It was beautiful there. I can't say those were the days, because they weren't. My home life sucked, but MAN it was nice to be able to come home from school every day and jump in the lake, swim whenever I pleased. I had a sailboat just big enough for one person. It was called a sea snark. Or something. Id spend hours zig-zagging across the lake. Those were some of the few times in my life I've truly felt peace.

3. wanted to be a teacher - I have 2 grandparents who were teachers. They were a big part of my life then. It seemed like a good plan.



10 years ago I....

1. was engaged to Ryan - enough said.

2. had my heart broken - enough said.

3. wanted to be a photographer - I found a way to express my passion for the world around me.



5 years ago I....

1. worked as a photographer - Screaming children and grumpy parents squashed some of the passion I felt for the worls around me. But I loved it anyway.

2. reconnected with a long lost friend - I wondered about so many old friends over the years. I was too chicken to do anything about it though. Leave it to B. to have no inhibitions at all. She called up my Dad, who she had met only once years prior, and hunted me down. I love her!!!

3. wanted to be a midwife - I saw a CNM when I had my youngest daughter. Compared to the sterile and impersonal hospital experience I'd had with her older sister, my experience having a baby with a midwife was amazing. Aside from that, I really loved being pregnant. I would be pregnant for the rest of my life if I could, but that's not gonna happen, so the next best thing, I decided, was to spend my life helping pregnant women give birth to their beautiful babies.



3 years ago I....

1. was a stay at home mom - Enough with other peoples screaming kids - I wanted to be with my own screaming kids.

2. had a best friend - I miss you Nicole! I'm sorry I'm such a crappy friend. I should have been there for you.

3. wanted to be a park ranger - Yes, I was still obsessed with babies and pregnancy, but my soul only breathes in the woods, and that's where I have to be. Being a midwife means being on call, and being tied down. I need serendipity in my life.



1 year ago I....

1. managed a call center - UGH. Enough said.

2. bought a house - UGH. Enough said.

3. dealt with a terrible tragedy - I can't say enough said, but I can't talk about it either, because I have to live, because I'm still alive, and those beautiful sweet angels are not. Wallowing doesn't help. They are alive in spirit, but they don't get to experience all of what life has to offer. I have to make every day count. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. No ruts allowed!


So far this past year, I've....

1. changed jobs (ok, positions really, I'm too chicken to leave this company)

2. gone hiking - once a year is not enough. I needs my woods.

3. Decided my calling in life is as an environmental educator. I've always been drawn to finding a job that allows me to appreciate wilderness hands on. I've always had a hard time putting that into words, or finding a practical end to that need. The park ranger idea was as close as I could come to it before, but I hate bureaucratic BS, and I was really grasping at any straw I could find with that goal. There were 2 hikers murdered here in Washington recently. Their lives and deaths and their stories moved me pretty profoundly. It's a little thing in their big picture, as they've lost their lives, but their stories have given me some direction. I had already been tossing the idea of teaching around in my head (summers off!! Time to go hiking!!) when I read about Mary Cooper and Susanna Stodden. Susanna was an environmental educator, working for the audubon society, teaching kids about nature and wilderness. Click!



Yesterday I....

1. fought with Dan (what's new?) UGH

2. went to work - UGH

3. ate a turkey sandwich - Yum. I love Subway.



Today I....

1. got out of bed on time, for once - Any one who knows me knows this is a big accomplishment. As hard as I try, I am late for everything. I really mean everything.

2. hugged my daughters - yes, I do this every day. I love them so much. It stands out in my head today though - I really enjoyed my cuddle time this morning. Those girls are so freakin special. *mmmm...big contented grin*

3. have a headache - UGH.



Tomorrow I will....

1. work harder - REALLY, I will!

2. go camping - YES!!

3. drink a Mike's - aaaaah...



In the next year I will....

1. sell my house - sooner rather than later, I hope.

2. pay off debts - again, sooner, rather than later, I hope...

3. go back to school - I get the strangest feeling I am repeating myself...sooner rather than later, I hope.

5 comments:

Thais Aux*** said...

Hey there, found your blog at 43 things. I loved it! It's on my faves!! I suppose you can't understand Portuguese but if someday you learnt it you're welcome to visit mine: http://auxiliosplace.blogspot.com. Congrats! Cya! Have a nice weekend!

Jenny said...

Ouch, I tried, but even with an automated translator (worldlngo.com) I'm not getting enough of it to make sense. I'm flattered though - Thanks!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jenny said...

UGH. Blog spammers, already.

squire said...

I love this post. Things never seem to go as we plan. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm going thru a time that I rally don't feel like blogging, but will get back to it shortly.