Wednesday, June 21, 2006

what?

So a week later, he was 300-some miles from home, on my doorstep. The exgirlfriend (who is psycho) was lying to get him back, or hurt him, or just be crazy. No baby. We've been mostly inseparable ever since. I moved home with him a few months later. I was pregnant a few months after that. We built a life together. We fought a lot, I think mostly BECAUSE we were so different and our expectations of life were so different. Those

FUCK THIS

Who cares about our story. I thought it was going to help me sort things out in my head if I put it all out on paper (screen), but it just hurts more to relive it all. I can't do it. I love him more than anything in the world. I love our family more than anything in the world. He is a piece of shit. How can you spend 10 years of your life building a family together and then just walk away? We have children. We have a life. We have had so many rocky times over the years, and his determination to make us work no matter what has been what has always pulled us back together and pulled us through. Now, after 10 years, he just suddenly doesn't know if he wants a family any more? What the fuck?! I feel like the sky is falling down around me. I don't want any life but my life with him. He is my everything. He is why my world keeps spinning. Without my family, is there really any point to life?

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