Heh, funny article.
I recall rather vividly a trip to eastern washington with my dad when I was 4 or 5 years old. He left me sitting on a log on top of this big hill in the woods while he went off to relieve himself. That's a lie, but I can't tell you where he was really going. He wasn't gone long, and it wasn't anything bad really. Of course, as soon as he's out of sight, me sitting all alone on this log, along comes this cow the size of a freakin elephant. I have absolutely without a doubt never been so terrified in all my life. More than 20 years later I still avoid the cow barns at the fair. Those things are scary!