Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Door number three it is. It's not supposed to be like this. I am not supposed to be like this.

2 comments:

NB said...

change is frightening, and frightening is only bad if you let it be.

Jenny said...

Ugh. I know. Feeling something, anything, anything at all has to be better than feeling nothing, and that's something I have some experience with. Thanks for the reality check. I have this irrational fear of being alone. It's irrational because I already AM alone, and it is what it is. Problem is I keep letting myself think I'm not, so it kills me all over again when I realize I am. I would give my right arm to be able to post about that in a way that makes sense, but the walls have ears and I'm just not ready to go there with those ears. When in the H-E-double hockey sticks did this blog change from a place where I could truly let it all go to a place where I have to be guarded about certain things? It's crap. CRAP, I tell you. Gotta fix that. I am OK. And I am scared, but that is ok too. Something good will come of this change. I need to quit stressing, sit back, and let life happen. Heh, maybe my real problem is just that I'm so damned impatient. I'm tired of all of this. I want the good to happen now.